“That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Philippians 3:10

“The fellowship of his sufferings.” This whirls around my soul, fanning the flame to know Christ. Immediately I think of being a part of the bride of Christ, because the marriage relationship on earth is the one in which we are most tightly united, where the two are “made one.”

If Rob is honored, I somehow share in that honor though I may have done nothing worthy of honor. If he is mocked or maligned, I also feel some of the effect. I feel it myself and I feel it because I see his response, because I hope to support and comfort him in that time. If he has a crisis- the basement floods, he injures his arm when crashing on his bike, or he loses his income, I am of course also involved in crisis because my basement is also flooded, my husband cannot use his arm for a while, or the finances I used to be able to access are no longer available to me.

Suffering as support

But the effects are not limited to the direct effects I endure because I am in relationship and share many things with him, but because I love him I want to help him, to comfort him, to work alongside him. I am distressed that he is suffering. I want to stand by him so he does not feel alone. I am not only interested in how his problem will directly affect me, but I choose to enter into his sufferings so that I can be a support.

Though we may, of course, be affected by and feel these same ways for children or parents, in the spousal relationship we remain living together for all our days, unlike our relationship with parents or children, which are designed to undergo some separation. Marriage is a covenantal relationship, a relationship the members choose to enter and pledge to one another for a lifetime.

So here with Christ. I want to know him in these same ways, being united with him in his life and death. I am sure that there are depths to this uniting that I have barely begun to probe, either mentally or emotionally or relationally or however this union happens and whatever its effects are. It’s disconcerting to consider- who wants to enter suffering? And yet- there is the tug at my heart. The thrill to think that I could have the privilege of knowing him like this, of serving him like this, perhaps, could it be, of even comforting him in some way? Does He want my support? Does it feel like something to him- is it valuable?

How do we get there?

How do we get there? I have no idea. I suppose He is the one who brings yielded hearts to that place. Can we choose to go there? What are your ideas? What do you think this looks like in life on earth? Is it the death to self that we are called to, which obviously involves suffering, or is it persecution, or both of these things and others as well? What ways have you experienced the fellowship of his suffering? I’d love to hear your comments below, as well as recommended reads on the topic if you have them.