The Fellowship of His Sufferings- sign me up.

I want to know him in these same ways, being united with him in his life and death. I am sure that there are depths to this uniting that I have barely begun to probe, either mentally or emotionally or relationally or however this union happens and whatever its effects are. It’s disconcerting to consider- who wants to enter suffering? And yet- there is the tug at my heart.

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The first thought of the day- what does it reveal?

In between these extremes there is the recurring first thought and feeling, “I just want to be held.” This is during a season of longing. This one will wake me in the night as well. And what is it that I am after? It seems like a homesickness for heaven, a loneliness that no person in the world can soothe, an assurance that there is something out there that is drawing me in. Not something, of course, but Someone.

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